There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
