got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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