It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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