I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
