we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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