Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
