you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
