So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Watching her eat just hurts me
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
