Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
