I hope mine doesn't look like that
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
