At least make sure they are 18
Why
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
