She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
