Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
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