Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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