you guys were way drunker than both of me
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
