so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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