yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
