Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
nutella sex= disaster
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
