Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
