im gay
i know
yea but for you.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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