singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize