he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
