i just had sex bonerless
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
