And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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