Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
barbara walters just said penis...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
