You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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