Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
