He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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