dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
