We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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