Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
