My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
