he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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