her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
