YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
