he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
