I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
