Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
