Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
What a dumb baby whore.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
