no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
