Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
