You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
