Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
