trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
