Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
