If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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