He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
