Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
