I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
