No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
