some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
