I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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