More tranny stories later!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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