i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
