dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
