like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
