I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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